Divorced With Children? Communication Is Crucial

            If communication is key when you are ‘together’, it’s even more important when you are apart, with children.  Please consider the following do’s and don’t’s.

DO’S

  • Use what works best for the two of you – talk, text, email  –  at ay given time.
  • If possible, don’t communicate when you are angry. With him/her.
  • If necessary, use “I” statements, not accusations.                                                    “I feel frustrated when you are late and don’t communicate”.
  • If necessary, review your note, when angry…imagine yourself receiving it.
  • Try to speak when you both know that your children cannot hear you.
  • Make a short list, to refer to, and stay focused and fairly brief..
  • Be sure to acknowledge positive words or deeds on the other side.
  • Establish a blog about activities with young children.
  • With older children, consider a family blog.
  • Treat it like business….it is…family business.
  • Do admit, if you were wrong, and apologize.

DON’TS

 Don’t blame or ‘bad mouth’

  • Don’t extend the communication longer than necessary,
  • Don’t need to have the last word or always be right.
  • Don’t forget it’s all about and for the children.

Doing the ‘right’ thing is a gift to your children and yourself.

 

Separated/Divorced Parent Communication

 

             INSTEAD OF                                           TRY

Where are you?  It’s your time!                    The kids are missing you.

You left them with a sitter, again?                With notice  I’m happy to cover you.

Mac Donald’s all week?                               I can share some healthy choices.

They spent All day on TV ?                          Let’s review some alternatives.

Their homework was not done.                    Here is our homework schedule..

They never call me from your house.           Let’s both have the kids call nightly.

You can’t speak to me that way!                   If you can’t stop, I’ll need to hang up.

There’s no supervision at your house.          Can we agree on some limits for him?

I’m not grounding Jack for you.                     We need to discipline on our own time.

I need a calendar from you!                           Here’s my calendar. Please send yours.