When you have wrestled with anger and find yourself winning, you arrive at the bargaining phase. You’re not dancing a jig yet, but are beginning to see the light. Your emotional investment moves from couplehood to a focus on yourself. After looking inward, you begin to recognize input that you don’t want to repeat in a new relationship. Work on your self-concept and interaction with others. Opportunities loom on the horizon and there is a developing new normalcy. Consider options and build on them.
As your household becomes less emotionally chaotic, your children are calmer and more ready to embark on some new routines in two homes. Cooperative co-parenting is the foundation of their future emotional growth. As they experience two civil parents, there is no need to take sides. They are free to love you both. They understand that they can’t manipulate you both [though most children will try]. Open communication is key as they grow and develop.
- I know me and I like me.
- I am confident that I can tackle what comes up.
- I think of my partner/spouse less emotionally.
- I am much less angry about my situation.
- I rarely discuss him/her with my friends.
- I accept that we will not get back together.
- I fantasize about moving on, with clarity and confidence.