Divorce, The Collaborative Way

When it’s time to come apart collaborative divorce allows parents to come apart respectfully

For the last 26 years, savvy couples have discovered a newer,  kinder and gentler,  way to divorce   It’s keeping  your divorce private and confidential.  You don’t  go to Court or have a judge make your  decisions. Collaborative divorce offers an alternative dispute resolution. You each have an attorney, to advocate for you.  Both collaborative attorneys, committed to working in a civil and respective manner to reach an Agreement acceptable to both parties.

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals [IACP]   has more than 5000 collaborative professionals.   they provide services in 25 countries. Governor Christie, on September 10, 2014, signed the New Jersey Collaborative Family Law Act into law. New Jersey collaborative professionals take pride in being in the vanguard of helping couples dissolve their partnership/marriage in a non-adversarial manner to preserve the sanctity of the family they have created.

We recommend that couples seeking a divorce ask self proclaimed collaborative attorneys if they are members of the IACP.  Ask what specific collaborative training  they have taken. There are eight collaborative practice groups throughout New Jersey. The Collaborative Divorce Association of North Jersey  requires its members to have 40 hours of mediation in addition to  collaborative divorce training. Its members continue advanced education throughout each year to expand and update  skills.

A team approach

Licensed mental health professionals can function as a divorce coach.  They help couples overcome emotional obstacles to get a decent divorce experience. They also keep the team on track of offering options and getting to mutually agreeable resolutions.

The child specialist is a licensed clinical mental health professional.  S/he  meets with parents first and then the children to understand their needs, fears and wishes. Children often don’t share their feelings with parents because they don’t want to upset or anger them. The child specialist’s role is brief and focused.

Although the coach and child specialist are licensed mental health professionals, they are NOT doing therapy. If that seems warranted, they may refer to other professionals. However, they do utilize their clinical skills to guide parents an children in navigating the muddy waters of the family in crisis. Because divorce is such an emotionally intense experience,  having professionals with specific skills can offer priceless guidance toward helping each family member progress.

Licensed collaborative financial professionals help protect the family’s interest by reviewing your assets, debt and income.  They help you each develop viable options for the future. They are skilled not only in dealing with numbers but are trained to work in the emotional atmosphere when you are couples coming apart.

With the collaborative divorce process, professionals have specific areas of expertise to offer which are best suited to clients’ needs and pocketbooks. For example, you would not pay attorney fees for dealing with emotional, communication or parenting issues. Instead, mental health professionals, at a lower fee, are best suited to deal with such concerns and situations. The collaborative team is an experienced grouping, with each professional utilizing and sharing their specific expertise to other team members, when appropriate, to offer a more comprehensive way of addressing the multitude of situations that can arise. The team strives to present a wellness approach for the future of your family.

Why choose collaborative divorce?

  • Collaborative professions work to help couples resolve issues in a more positive way and can be more cost effective.
  • Keeping out of  Court offers privacy, especially desired by couples with high worth or public profiles.
  • There is no judge involved who has to review documents of scores of couples so you benefit from more personal attention. You work directly with collaborative professionals who are dedicated to helping you both to create a plan that works best for your family’s needs.
  • Convenience. There is no Court schedule  or costly cancellations. Collaborative professionals work around your time frames and respect your emotional readiness to continue – or – take a breather, as needed.
  • A team of divorce experts, with specialized training and experience, efficiently addresses your family situation.
  • The collaborative way helps you protect your children from potentially damaging fallout of a “messy” divorce. The goal is to preserve parent’s mutual respect to ensure cooperative co-parenting going forward.
  • After the divorce is over, some team members are available to advise on post-divorce situations, as needed, or to revise any aspect of the final agreement.

You may be coming apart from your partner/spouse but you can still preserve what you both recreated – the family – in two homes, with the collaborative way.