Remembering Love: Divorce and Children

You may be thinking that the above are mutually exclusive. Coming apart is painful, whether you or your partner chose it.  There are likely a bucketful of feelings related to the dissolution of your relationship – anger, sadness, confusion and resentment, not so pleasant.  Add feelings of relief, discovery, freedom, independence, self-reliance and growth when we feel acceptance and resolution.

Valentine’s Day reminds us to celebrate our love relationships. Hopefully we do that more than once a year, even when there is no holiday.   Your children were created out of the love you both felt for each other in the past.  Even though you may not currently feel that love for your former spouse/partner, your children are a constant reminder of that partnership.  Consider offering them a former family picture for their room. It’s comforting for them to know, especially if they can’t recall back when, that there were loving, happy family times.  Relate some funny or nice stories from that period. If the stories are told with both parents present, even better.

So, remember that old love, even though you probably do not feel it now.  Consider forgiveness. Letting go of regret and past anger and actually frees you and demonstrates to your children that it is not useful to hang on to negativity.   We need to spread a little more ‘love’ all over this world.

Happy hearts to all !