Divorced With Children? Communication Counts

            If communication is key when you are ‘together’, it’s even more important when you are apart, with children.  Please consider the following do’s and don’t’s.

DO’S

  • Use what works best for the two of you – talk, text, email  –  at ay given time.
  • If possible, don’t communicate when you are angry. With him/her.
  • If necessary, use “I” statements, not accusations.                                                    “I feel frustrated when you are late and don’t communicate”.
  • If necessary, review your note, when angry…imagine yourself receiving it.
  • Try to speak when you both know that your children cannot hear you.
  • Make a short list, to refer to, and stay focused and fairly brief..
  • Be sure to acknowledge positive words or deeds on the other side.
  • Establish a blog about activities with young children.
  • With older children, consider a family blog.
  • Treat it like business….it is…family business.
  • Do admit, if you were wrong, and apologize.

DON’TS

 Don’t blame or ‘bad mouth’

  • Don’t extend the communication longer than necessary,
  • Don’t need to have the last word or always be right.
  • Don’t forget it’s all about and for the children.

Doing the ‘right’ thing is a gift to your children and yourself.