COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE SERVICES
As a Divorce Coach, I work with clients to help them overcome difficult emotions that could stall or prevent them from reaching a reasonable divorce agreement. I help couples communicate in a more productive way, instead of repeating old patterns of negative interactions that usually end up in the same old place and get nowhere. There are new and better ways to negotiate and find solutions that enable each person to feel better about the divorce experience. Divorce coaching is not therapy. If therapy seems indicated a referral may be offered.
When there are children, I work with parents on the Parenting Plan; then it’s passed on to the attorneys, who address the financial aspects of that Plan, and it becomes part of the Divorce Contract. The Collaborative Divorce Team tailors professionals’ roles to accommodate the individualized needs of each couple. There are times when I act as the sole, neutral, facilitating Coach, for both parties and, in other situations, when useful, I am one of two coaches. As part of the Collaborative team, the Coach also keeps the attorneys informed about relevant emotional [and we know how emotional divorce is] factors involved, so all involved can more efficiently focus on important decision making.
As a Collaborative Child Specialist, I help inform the Divorce Coach if s/he writes up the Parenting Plan, which includes everything relating to the child(ren). Often children can get ‘lost’ during this trying time when parents are trying to maintain their own equilibrium. Children are frequently upset, confused, angry, frightened, depending on their age, personality and relationship with each parent. Often children need some assistance in sorting through their fears, reactions and feelings. I see the child(ren) to better understand their needs and wishes (it can be difficult for children to tell their parents certain things because of the deep feelings involved) and then help parents think about how they want to plan for their children. This is also not therapy, though a referral can be made, if it seems warranted. Our contact is brief and focused on the best way for the parents to move forward in planning for the family’s future.